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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848456">The Attempt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/M4rii/pseuds/M4rii'>M4rii</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cutting, Gen, Pseudo-Incest, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Gets a Hug, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:36:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/M4rii/pseuds/M4rii</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who would even care?", she asks herself as she held the blade in her hand. “Five would, but  he’s gone.”, she said.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Allison Hargreeves &amp; Vanya Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves &amp; Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves &amp; Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves &amp; Vanya Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves &amp; Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy &amp; Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves &amp; Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves &amp; Siblings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>170</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Attempt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: There will be suicide in this story. I will not explain it in detail because I know it is triggering to people. Take in mind that this is my first Umbrella Academy fanfiction and I am slowly learning. This is another typical suicidal vanya fic. I just wanted to try the idea out. Thank you Lucas, my beta</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Who would even care?", she asks herself as she holds the blade in her hand. “Five would, but  he’s gone.”, she said. And as she started crying again, she thought about how little her family cared. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>Monday</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya sat at her desk trying to complete her algebra homework before her next class. She forgot to do it yesterday because she was occupied with trying to learn a new violin piece. She would usually have Five remind her and then sit beside her either helping or doing his own work, but he disappeared a couple months ago. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I should ask Allison for help.”, she thought aloud, seeing as Allison was better at the subject than the rest. She got up, gathered her papers, and walked down the hall towards her sister’s room. She didn’t have the best relationship with Allison but she didn’t want to give her father, Reginald Hargreeves, another reason to insult her. She arrived at her room door to find it cracked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She knocked on the door as she pushed it open.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Allison?”, she called out as the door opened fully. She stopped at the sight of Allison and Luther sitting on her bed kissing. Both of them jumped away from each other when they heard her voice. She watched with wide eyes as Allison rushed towards her to shove her out of her room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”, she asked sharply as she glared.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya looked down at her feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was- um wondering if you can help me with my algebra homework?”, she asked quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Allison made a frustrated noise.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you be able to do it yourself?”, she snapped. “You do nothing all day while we train and even Diego gets it.”, she told her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya continued to look down.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I’m sorry.”, she stuttered out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever.” she said, annoyed, as she slammed the door in her face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya walked back to her room with tears in her eyes. She completed the work by herself. She handed in her work when the time came. She wasn’t surprised when she was told her score.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Later that day, her father yelled at her and took her violin away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She spent her free time in silence.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>Tuesday</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya was sitting up on her bed with a book in her hands. Her father still didn’t give her back her violin so she was bored with nothing to do. She closed her book with a sigh as she got up to find Ben and maybe see if he was finished with the book she gave him. She was just about to enter the library when she heard voices. She hid behind the corner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we ask Vanya?”, she heard a voice say, recognizing it as Klaus’.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“N-no. She’ll o-o-only slow us down-n. She’ll get us caught.”, she heard Diego stutter out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s right Klaus.”, she heard Allison agree.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya decided to step in then.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We could at least bring her someth--.” Ben started before he saw Vanya step from around the corner. “Hey Vanya!”, he greeted. They all turned to look at her with a sheepish look on their faces.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey.”, she said with a sad look. Klaus opened his mouth to speak before she interrupted him. “It’s okay. He’s right, I’ll probably slow you down.”, she said sadly as she turned around to go back to her room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“W-w-w-we’ll bring someth-thing back.”, Diego said guiltily as he tried to make her feel better. She turned around to give a small smile before she went back upstairs to skim through the book. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She later fell asleep hearing her siblings meeting in Allison’s room down the hall. The next morning, she woke up to a glazed donut on her dresser, wrapped in a napkin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She threw it in the trash. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>Wednesday</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was in the middle of the night, Vanya was having trouble sleeping, so she went downstairs to make Five another one of his peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches. She still hoped he'd come back. When she got downstairs, she found Klaus eating the sandwich she made earlier before she went to bed. He turned when he heard her come in. He looked at her in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vanya?”, he questioned, surprised.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”, she asked angrily, surprising her and Klaus.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I had the munchies?”, he tried. “And I figured since Five wasn’t coming back…”, he trailed off. Tears gathered in Vanya’s eyes as he said that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know that.”, she denied. “He’ll come back.”, she said with tears in her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vanya, you have to face it. He’s not coming back.”, he said softly, seeing the tears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes he will.”, she denied again. She went up and grabbed the plate from him and made him another one, crying. Klaus watched her with a sad look. When she finished, she looked at Klaus and the sandwich sadly before she went upstairs while Klaus did the same, guilt never leaving his body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She cried herself to sleep.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>Thursday</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya was in her room practicing a song on her violin. Her father gave it back to her with a new piece to learn. She stopped when she heard a knock on her door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come in!”, she called. She was surprised when Luther walked in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Vanya.”, he said as he walked in and stopped when he was standing in front of her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey?”, she asked, confused. “Did you need something?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um I was wondering if you could stop playing your violin. Allison said she was getting annoyed.”, he told her with a sheepish smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”, she said as she looked down. She frowned. She really had to get this piece practiced for their father. “But I have to practice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah but do you have to practice right now? Allison is getting annoyed.”, he countered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to get, at least, the page learned for father in a certain amount of time. And the piece is really difficult.”, she said as she looked up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure it won’t be long.”, he tried to reason as he reached for her violin. She tried to pull back before his hand reached her instrument but he was quicker. He grabbed the neck of the violin and Vanya dropped the bow and held to the bottom with both of her hands.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Luther!”, she said in surprise at the fact that she yelled. “Give it back!”, she shouted as they played tug-o-war with her violin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just give it to me!”, he yelled back as he tugged a little too hard and ripped the neck from the body of the violin. Vanya’s eyes widened, as did his. Tears gathered in her eyes. “Vanya I-”, he tried before she ran, crying, out her room. They didn’t notice Ben, Klaus, and Diego in the hallway as she ran past.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?”, Klaus asked as he looked away from Vanya’s retreating back to Luther. He then looked at what he had in his hands. “You didn’t.”, he said.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“T-t-that’s a n-new low. E-even for you.”, Diego stuttered out, shaking his head. Ben shook his head at him as he turned to run after Vanya. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was an accident.”, he said, guiltily.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She got in trouble for being reckless with her violin.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>Friday</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya was sitting on Ben’s bed, waiting for him to be done with training, with a new book she found for him in hand. She didn’t have to wait too long when he entered his room with a sad look on his face. She knew that look,. That’s the look he had when he had just returned from “personal training”. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben?”, she asked carefully as she got up and walked towards him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Vanya.”, he said as he looked up with tears in his eyes. When she saw the tears, she hugged him. She let him cry in her arms as he sobbed. She let him rant about how much he hated training and their father. She tried to comfort him the best she could by rubbing his back while he talked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”, she shushed, when he was done. He pulled back with an irritated look on his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No it won’t! You don’t know how it feels! You don’t even have powers!”, he screamed. He stopped as his eyes widened, when he realized what he had said. “I’m sorry I was just so mad and I didn’t mean to put it all on you.”, he rushed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite the tears, she smiled at him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. You were just upset. I found a new book for you, hope you like it.”, she said before she got up and rushed out of his room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vanya!”, he reached out for her but was too late. He looked down before grabbing the book and started to read it. He decided to let her calm down to apologize. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She decided that nobody cared.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>Present</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vanya sobbed as she took two of her pills. She waited before her body got numb before she cut her wrists, laid back, and waited for the darkness to consume her. She didn’t hear her siblings gathering in Allison’s room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Allison’s Room</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we should invite Vanya this time.”, Ben blurted out. “I wasn’t the nicest to her today.”, he admitted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah~, I don’t think any of us were the nicest to her all week. Especially you Mr. Violin Breaker.”, Klaus agreed and pointed to Luther. He looked down and nodded in agreement. Diego just shrugged, even though he felt bad as well. Allison rolled her eyes as though she didn’t care.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben smiled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I‘ll get her.”, he volunteered and snuck to her room before opening it. He saw her lying in her bed. He went over to her and shook her. “Vanya. Vanya.”, he said as he tried to wake her up. He was confused as he looked down at her. She wasn’t waking up. He pulled the blanket back to try and surprise her awake. He gasped in horror when he saw the blood on her sheets and wrists. His eyes began to well up with tears as he looked at her lifeless body. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vanya please.”, he cried, as he felt for a pulse. He sighed in relief when he felt a faint one. He ran back to Allison’s room, not noticing the blood that got on his hands. He ran in the door with tears. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben? What happened?”, Klaus asked as he turned and saw his face and the blood. He rushed over to him. Everybody else turned to the two.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Vanya. Her wrists were bloody and her pulse was almost gone. Sh- she’s dying we have to help her. Someone get somebody.”, he rushed out with tears streaming down his face. Nobody asked questions when he ran back to her room, just following. They stopped at Vanya’s door and looked in horror at the sight they saw when the light was turned on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They saw Vanya on her bed and blood everywhere. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god.”, Allison gasped as she covered her mouth and started to cry. “Go get mom!”, she ordered as she ran over to Vanya.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego nodded, his own tears showing as he ran to where he knew their mom, Grace, was charging. Luther just stood at the door in shock. He watched as Klaus, Ben, and Allison tried to stop the bleeding with tears. He was snapped back to reality when Diego ran past him with Grace in tow. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh dear.”, she started as she went over to Vanya. “This doesn’t look so good. Now, children, I’m going to need some help with this.”, she said as she told them to go get certain materials she will need to treat Vanya. With all the commotion happening, Reginald Hargeeves woke up to see what was going on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What is the meaning of all this ruckus?”, he yelled at Grace, who was by Vanya tending to her wounds. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It seems Vanya has been injured.”, she answered without looking towards him. He then walked to see what she was talking about and caught sight of Vanya’s condition. Worry flashed on his face but, as soon as it was there, it was gone and his face was hard again. He looked at the door to see the children outside her door with medical supplies.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well don’t just stand there.”, he ordered as he stepped out the way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They managed to save her. Klaus ended up giving her blood to replace some that she lost.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Now children, go wash up and get some rest. You all need it. Especially Vanya.”, she ordered. She watched them all leave, reluctantly, before she left with them as well. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>The Next Day</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a little bit after lunch and the children were in the medical room, where Vanya was moved to. She had yet to wake up or even move and all of them were on edge. Ben was sitting beside her with her hand in his, Klaus was laying down with her, Allison was sitting on the edge of her bed, Diego and Luther both sitting in a chair. They all watched her face, waiting for any signs that she was going to wake up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope she wakes up soon.”, Ben says softly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We all do.”, Klaus agrees, getting nods from the rest. Fortunately for them, Vanya decided to open her eyes at that exact moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She opened her eyes slowly. She blinked a couple times to get used to the light in the room. She saw everyone in the room looking down sadly. She felt an itching sensation coming from her wrists and tried to move her arm so she could see why, only to find out that she couldn’t move it completely.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vanya?”, she heard Ben say as she saw him look up. Hearing him call her name, everyone else looked towards her. Diego and Luther got up from the chairs and quickly rushed to her bed while Klaus sat up from where he was laying. She gave all of them a questioning look.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you guys doing here?”, she asked them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t remember what you did last night?”, Allison asked her. She then sat there for a moment to think and it all came back to her. She started to tear up again as she bit her lip.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you tell us why you did it?”, Ben asked her. She didn’t answer as she turned her head to the side, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “Vanya?”, he tried again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t it obvious.”, she started. “I was trying to kills myself.”, she stated. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But why.”, Allison choked out. She pondered whether she should tell them the real reason or not. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s clear that I’m unwanted in this house. Five was the only one who who wanted me here and he’s gone. He didn’t care if I was ordinary, or if dad told you guys not to talk to me, or if my violin playing got annoying. I’ve tried so hard to hold on without him and it’s too much for me. I just want to disappear.”, she explained through her sobs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“B-b-but we d-d-do want you in the house.”, Diego said.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah and I find your violin playing quite peaceful, if I do say so myself.”, Klaus added.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You guys don’t have to try to make me feel better. I already know how you feel about me.”, Vanya said. She didn’t want them filling her head with lies just for them to act differently later on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vanya I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. But I do want you here. We all do.”, Ben said with a soft smile. That got nods of agreement from everyone. She gave them a soft smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They sat there and talked about why they wanted her in the house to reassure her before they had to go back to their studies. They all hugged and told her they loved her before they left.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was allowed to leave the medical room a couple days after that. Her siblings would come in there during their free time and spend time with her as much as they came. After that, they tried to make her feel more included and noticed. Whenever she was sad, at least on of them would be with her always to make sure she never did anything stupid again. They never stopped.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>A Few Months Later</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was currently standing in the library with her violin in hand, Luther asked their father to fix it for her the day of the incident. She lifted it to her chin, closed her eyes, and played a sweet melody. When she was finished, she opened her eyes to see all of her siblings smiling at her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Encore!”, Klaus yelled, flailing his arms dramatically. The rest of them cheered for her to continue as well. She obliged and continued with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She finally felt loved.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you guys enjoyed it! Make sure you guys comment some feedback so I can become a better writer and all that. You guys should recommend some ideas.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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